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I have a friend whose parents recently celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. The family had a huge party to celebrate. However, my friend also told me that her mother will “keep it real” when people ask her how long they’ve been married, replying “47 happy years!” (Get it?) They love each other dearly, but like most couples, they’ve had their ups and downs.

There’s no denying it…sometimes marriage can be really hard.  At times, it can feel like we’ve lost our way. Anger and resentment bubble up, blame comes to the surface, and one or both partners may feel like a victim or stockpile negative feelings. We may avoid each other, constantly snap at each other, or find ourselves treating each other like distant “roommates.”

When things get really bad, we may find ourselves trapped in an unproductive cycle of frustration, sadness, and pain. If left unchecked, this can spiral out of control, potentially leading to destructive behaviors like emotional or physical affairs, drug and alcohol abuse, or separation and divorce.

How can we take control of the situation and find our way back to a happy and healthy relationship? If your marriage is damaged and you’re hurting, here is some advice on breaking out of negative cycles and moving towards healing.

Continue reading this article at http://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/divorceremarriage/help-for-couples-trying-to-work-it-out/when-it-hurts-so-bad-healing-your-marriage-/